June 28, 2004

An enthusiastic Thumbs Up for Fahrenheit 9/11!

We just got back from the Movies.
I came home heartened and hopeful.
We went to a local Torrance theater to see Fahrenheit 9/11.
Every single seat was taken for the 6:40 PM Monday night screening.
Yah Hoo!

Fahrenheit 9/11 is brilliant!
This film is effective!
This See this Film!

The same people who were willing spread lies and innuendo about Bill Clinton are now whining that Michael Moore's documentary, Fahrenheit 9/11 isn't fair. They are saying that this film is Anti-Bush. Well, Boo Hoo!

If you remember, these are the same people who were willing to spend millions of our tax dollars looking for any possible way to destroy the reputations of the legally elected president and his wife. …Instead of using them to protect our infrastructure, environment and build and strengthen our towns and cities.

The Republicans are wah-wahing!
And, doing everything they can to dissuade people from seeing this film. They are crying FOUL! The internet is filled with slams of this film. Just Google the words Fahrenheit 9/11 and see what is being said. I want to say this to all of you whiners out there: You reap what you sow.

See the film! You can then call me and complain if you want.

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June 26, 2004

Today is my brother's birthday.

Have fun tonight!

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June 19, 2004


Even this Mom read every article in two newspapers about the Laker shake-up this morning. The only way I usually even know there is a game is when I notice the Laker Flags on the cars of fans. I take note on this only because phone calls to Matt during the games not OK. I can call but he won't be available.

Years ago, my simply watching his team play, tended to jinx the outcome. I have this uncanny ability to predict the winner after the evaluating the uniforms and the earnest look on the faces of the players. I will make a comment like; 'Look at those nice boys. They are saying 'hello' to their Mom. And, they have the prettiest uniform. They are going to win." Nine times out of ten that assured the win for the team I admired.

After that, Matt warned me not to even go near a TV if an important game was on.

Superstition? Maybe.

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June 18, 2004


We all want to feel as though we matter.
That our lives have meaning.
And, that just by being here, we make a difference.

It is a rare person who does not want and need to be of use to others. Doing so just makes us feel good.

Most of us are given the opportunity to serve in the role as giver.
We should give in humble gratitude to those who offer us the chance.

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June 17, 2004


Raising Helen

Predictable, engaging and enjoyable, but easily forgettable movie.

Like her mother ... everyone's favorite ditsy blond, Kate Hudson is fun to watch. I don't follow Hollywood news, but learned about the familial relationship of these two talented actresses today. Once this little fact was known, it seemed obvious.

Other News

I've missed Pete's call three days in a row. The first time I could hear him but he couldn't hear me. He hung up. The phone connections can be difficult. The last two times he called I was not home. He left messages, however, and sounds well and happy.

This is what I think I heard.... After finally securing the release of goods which had been held in customs, our group was moving up North to visit villages and bring the donations to those for whom they had been intended. At least that is plan. I will let you know what I learn. Pete seems to be doing great. He is in good hands.


Heidi's back. She writes about airplane etiquette. I guess she didn't recognize me on board. I was the woman with the floral print luggage looking to chat. :-)

I linked to the weblog of her friend, Ariel, and found this neat post about blogging.


The dust is getting thick here. And, little has moved in the garage as I had intended. Pete's car is still in the street and looks so dirty that our neighbor across the street told me today that it should be washed.

I misunderstood him, and thought that he was volunteering to do the job. Poor guy. Now, I think he was simply warning me that the dirty car was sending a message that we were not at home. I doubt that I will get to this task tomorrow. We'll see if this good man shows up at my door this weekend. Well, tomorrow is another day. Good night.

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Yesterday, I did something I have never done before. Unable to find someone to go with me, I went to the movies by all by myself. For those of you independent folks out there, this might not seem like such a big thing. But for me it was A VERY BIG DEAL.

Funny, how EMPOWERED one can feel by making a small change, by tossing one little self imposed rule, and enduring the momentary discomfort. It doesn’t take much. I’m so proud of Me!

Now to the Rave…

Mom’s Review of SAVED.
I loved this movie!
Listen to Mom and See SAVED Now!

This film is a jewel. A sweet tale of the triumph of kindness over rules. …The difference between acting out of love rather than fear. This simple tale emphasizes the true message brought by every Perfect Master …before the message has been distorted by our human tendency to set up laws which only separate us.

This movie is about LOVE. The love we were intended to practice each day and in every circumstance. Saved is a feel good movie. And, I felt good when I left.

Now get thee out to the theater watch Saved. You will be glad you did.


All I will say is that SBC messed up again and I wasted more than four hours trying to get the new problem solved. I was routed to people in the Philippines, India and G-d knows where else, who politely read from a script but were unable to do anything to help. I finally demanded to talk to someone in California. It was only then that the problem was solved

I do not begrudge any people anywhere their jobs. But there is something very wrong here. And if you don’t feel it now, you will. It’s time to reign in the conglomerates if we have any power left to do so.

If your phone service is provided by SBC, this awful conglomerate that bought out the well run Pacific Bell, link here and let them know what you think about outsourcing jobs that need to be done right here. But let me warn you, it is not the easiest site to navigate.

Let’s start bringing our jobs back home by making a change at the top. FIRE BUSH!

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June 14, 2004


On one hand, The Stepford Wives is just a So So movie. It’s definitely is not a thriller. And, it doesn’t quite work as Camp. The convoluted script just seems to miss. By the end of the movie, you don't really care very much how it ends.

On the on the other hand, I’m glad I saw this film in the theater. If you are into the visual, see this one on the Big Screen. Otherwise, you can probably wait.

The visual is VERY important to me. If the film is visually pleasing, I can often accept less than perfect acting or script. So when this movie comes to TV, I might watch it again with Pete. The look is a delight to the eye. And, that counts a lot to this Mom.

But... This isn't really a very good film. I think my problem was Nicole Kidman. She generally leaves me cold. Unlike almost everyone else, I am not a big fan. She always seems to be acting … even when she’s playing herself.

I can never quite suspend my disbelief when Kidman is onscreen. Her red eyes and more ready tears are just a tad too false to touch me. I know that sounds mean, but there it is....

I’d like to blame a poorly written script, or the director, for Glenn Close's failure in this one, but I’m not sure. She can usually make anything work. And, I'd like to give her the benefit of doubt. So, I’m blaming this on the writers and director, because I just like this actress too much to blame it on her. But, what do I know...

The rest of the main actors did very good jobs. Bette Midler, Christopher Walker, and Matthew Broderick were able to get you involved. In my opinion, the cinematography and Bette pretty much saved the movie from complete failure.

On a scale of one to five, I guess I give The Stepford Wives a 3.2.

Are you confused yet?

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June 12, 2004


Many years ago, my brother started to explore Buddhism. He told me of the mantra that leads a believer into meditation. “Om Mani Padme Hum” And, said something to the effect that in letting go of the thought, one begins to look at what is within.

At the mention of this, I felt a moment of tremendous fear. David asked me what was it that I feared? I said that I didn't know, but i think i was afraid that if i really looked within, I wouldn't see anything. That there would be 'nothing' there.

It took many years before I gathered the courage to start the inward journey. ...To begin the exploration that would change my life. Along the way, I have gained some awareness. I think the greatest thing I have learned is that it is true ... that when one looks within, one will find 'nothing' ... No Thing.

There are no words to describe what is found in those moments when we go within to our heart. Those flashes when we connect with the Source. Something that is No Thing is there. We can name it Light, Energy, Creation, or God. What ever we call the Nameless, it fills the Universe.

And, of this No Thing we have come,
of this, we are all a part, inter-connected,
... and never truly alone.


Turning on the TV this morning, I heard Wayne Dyer say:
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

Earlier, I'd read that Goethe said; ""Nothing is worth more than this day."

When you consider these words, and become aware of the No Thing ... this eternal flash of creation ... how can one not become overwhelmed by the miracle of this very moment?

We just have to connect. Not always easy, lost as we can be in the unreality of our human experience. But, those rare and precious moments of awareness are invaluable.

I'm still at the beginning of my journey, two steps forward ...one step back. Climbing hills and falling backward. Forgetting at times where I am going, but eventually blessed with Some One or Some Thing who helps me remember. Thank You.

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June 10, 2004

Here's the news....

Just over an hour ago, at 9:00 AM Sri Lanka time, Pete called again. They are 13 hours ahead of us, so that was 8:00 PM California time. Are you confused yet?

Pete was looking at the Indian Ocean from the window of his hotel window. Wow!

Tonight is the last night they will be there.
Tomorrow, the group moves northward to considerably less luxurious accommodations.

Everything is good.

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While I was gone this morning, Pete called and left a message to let me know that our little group had arrived safely and that he was having fun. Sri Lanka is 13 hours ahead so he was going to bed. He said that it is already 'tomorrow'. His voice sounded good!


I had the proceedure this morning. Everything went well. Nothing terrible to worry about. I'll know more in a couple of weeks. I feel pretty normal. I think I could have driven myself home. It was good however, to have the company of the beautiful young lady who was kind enough to drive. Thanks.

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June 9, 2004


I haven't heard from Pete yet, but he must be there by now. He told me that when he calls, it will probably be between 7:00 and 10:00 AM. Huge time difference between here and there.

It takes about a full day to get to Sri Lanka. Once there, Pete has to buy a 'chip' or something for the phone to work. He bought a special phone for this trip. As I understand it, once he gets the 'chip' he will also get the phone number. Does that sound right?

Wouldn't it be cool if there was some sort of webcam that would be constantly relaying information as the trip progresses. I guess I've gotten too used to instant information.

I'll let you know.

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June 8, 2004


The other day I recounted some disturbing dreams which weren't fading from my mind. Using this blog as a vehicle to dispel some of the disquiet seemed to work. Sometimes simply putting stuff out there helps me deal with the angst. Just talking about it seems to take the power out of dark thoughts. Maybe because in doing so, without me even knowing, there are those who listen, and send some of their light to dispel the fear. Thanks to those of you who did.

Today, I had an appointment with the gastro guy. I’d been feeling like hell for a while …and this weekend indigestion got intense. This guy is a generally nice man, and though I hadn’t seen him for a couple of years, I felt like I was in good hands.

An endoscopy was scheduled for Thursday morning. It was either then or wait a couple of weeks till the doctor returns from vacation.

Before I started second guessing the doctor and my decision to follow his advice, I went with Thursday. On the way home, I started thinking of who I might ask to take me to and from the procedure. There is something about asking for help that always touches feelings of guilt and fear within me.

I decided to act as soon as I got home to prevent too much over thinking. Then, made a small list of people who lived close-by and who I thought might be home this week. I left messages to call me on the machines of three women in our Spiritual Family. Within an hour, I received the first call. This beautiful soul immediately told me that she would be happy to drive.

An hour later, I received a second call. When I told this kind woman why I had called, she too let me know that she was available. I took a deep breath. …And, realized once again, that we don’t have to be alone. All we need to do is reach out. Someone is always willing to lend a hand.

How easy it is to forget….

By the way... We meet the nicest people on the internet. This person has a lot of insight and a very cool blog as well.

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Pete is on his way to Sri Lanka. His flight to Hong Kong left just before 2:00 AM this morning. At least, I think it did. With all the security precautions these days, only people who are actually boarding planes are allowed at the gates.

After a several hour layover in Hong Kong, he and the hearty group of travelers will continue on to their final destination. I don’t expect to hear from him for a couple days.

I wonder if the day will ever come again when we can actually say good-bye to loved ones just before they board a plane for a distant place?

I remember the final hugs and waves as we saw our kids off to college. Then ... standing at the window and watching as the plane lifted up and flew out of sight.

It was only after that, that I was ready to return to the car to drive back home. And, to start dealing with the fact that my job as a Mom was nearly done. Our boys had grown their wings and were flying off to their futures.

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June 6, 2004


Last night I had several disturbing dreams. I don't know if they mean something or are just a result of not feeling very well these days. It seemed like Pete was restless last night too. I woke often to his tossing and turning.

My thoughts keep returning to the dreams, so I can't help but wonder if something is trying to reveal itself.

Here is a synopsis:

Dream One

I am staying with people in Hawaii. The hostess is irritable and hot. She is vacuuming. I offer to help, but my offer is rejected. I think I should be doing something to lighten her load, but can't think what to do. I realize that I am not offering with an open heart, as the darkness of the situation seems overwhelming. I just want out of there.

I look over to the adjoining room and there is a little boy sitting on the floor. He looks to be about two. He is sick and covered with some kind of green slime. This is the nephew or grandson of the hostess. The child is sitting there crying, but the hostess continues with her cleaning. I don't go over to pick him up, clean or care for him. I leave that to the hostess, even though we talk a bit about his condition.

When I awake, I am bothered by my lack of involvement. I try to reassure myself that this is not how I would react in real life, but part of me feels this is a reflection some true inner selfishness. Some kind of fear.

Dream Two

I think I am in Hawaii again, this time staying at a hotel. It is considered a good establishment. I am holding a large manila envelope addressed to me. I am aware there is more mail waiting in a locked numbered box over to the side. There are many boxes. I don't know which one is mine.

Right in front of me is some kind of scanner which will read my envelope and let me know which box is mine. I watch a maid pass an envelope through the scanner and go to a box to retrieve the mail for another guest.

I try to scan my envelope, and I think I see the number 714 or 814. I am not sure which, but I can't seem to scan the envelope a second time. I walk to the desk to ask for help. There are several employees of the hotel on duty, with few guests waiting. I go up to one of the employees and ask for help. She seems to have an attitude and barely looks at me. I get no help. I ask another and get the same result. Other employees look up, briefly catching my eye, but instead of offering to help, return to whatever they are doing.

I ask to see the manager, and get sent on a wild goose chase, never accomplishing the goal to get my mail. I start to complain, but it does no good. I've spent a lot of time on this and feel frustrated. I wake up wondering why I would get mail somewhere else during a relatively short visit.

Both dreams left me feeling awful. Using the old method of rewriting the dreams in a wakeful state to change the outcome has not diffused the disquiet.

Some people believe that all of our dreams have meaning. Others seem to think that they are random firing of the synapses of the brain. I have always believed that the first idea is more often true. ...That we can often learn something from our dreams.

In thinking about these phantasms, the only ideas I can come up with are pretty dark. I don't know why they persist in my memory. I wonder what I have to learn. Maybe getting them out there will diffuse some of the unease.

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Just in case you forgot...

Pete leaves for Sri Lanka tomorrow night.
Actually, early Tuesday morning.
He has to be there early Monday evening
to go through security,
get a seat assgnment, and all that stuff.

Posted by Judi at 10:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack


I don't understand this exactly.
Or maybe, I just don't want to take the time to read the whole thing. I'm not quite sure what we are doing, but here goes....

Link to this site: Nigritude Ultramarine

Mike, if I've mistaken your meaning, let me know.

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June 5, 2004


"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

This is the time of year that most people are very busy. At least most people I know. End of the school year, travel plans and such.

Pete, and many in our circle, will be soon be leaving for Sri Lanka for a wonderful adventure. Although I am looking forward to my time alone, I can't help but feel a little left out....

That is why I was uplifted today to get an e-mail from a reader of Mike's blog, who told me she liked my site.

Thanks Jenn. I like your site too.

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