May 10, 2013

At Least She Was Able to Cry. That's Progress.

"He appeared normal. He spoke and behaved like anyone else. The fact that he had no heart was very well concealed. Well, that's not entirely true. He did have one. It was just not in his possession at the moment. And this is where the story gets complicated. The woman who had the darn thing was blightely unaware of the fact. Well, that's not entirely true either. She knew that she'd left the relationship with more stuff than when she entered it, she just hadn't bothered to do a proper inventory. (Had she done so, she would have found several other hearts, as well as a few sets of balls.) Regardless, his dilemma remained the same. A woman had absconded with a vital organ and the gnawing emptyness he felt was a direct reflection of that vacancy. Well, that's not entirely true either. The gnawing thing had actually been with him since he was a child. He just liked to assign blame for the condition."


When she read these words at the end of a Big Bang Theory Episode, they made her cry. The writer was hurt. Lost love, maybe a lost dream of what he expected to be his "Ever After."

She cried because big chunks of her heart had also gone missing. They'd had been gone for some time. No one had taken them away. No one had taken any of her stuff. Just the vagaries of time that sometimes can affect the human condition. She had suffered an invisable loss.

Some small idiosyncrasy, some tiny change or blip in the chemical makeup that brings about a misfiring synapse or lack of uptake in that vital grey matter within the organ we call the brain. Sometimes big hunks just go missing. Like the ability to feel joy, true gratefulness, peace or faith.

She no longer even had the ability to fake these things for the sake of others. Except maybe for a short time with complete strangers. She didn't actually know why that was. Except, maybe, because these people didn't actually know her. These people just smiled back when she offered them a smile; and she didn't feel any of their judgement.

Posted by Judi at May 10, 2013 9:15 PM | TrackBack
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