She doesn't know how to react when she sees him turn into a completely different person in front of others. The joyful, happy, spiritual person he projects in front of the S. F. is completely different than the person he is at home. People are puzzled at her reaction, no doubt, and must see her as strange.
Help her accept. Help her love him even though his behavior feels so false. Let her be grateful, kind and loving and selfless. How he acts and behaves should have no affect on her. Let her be bigger and willing to bend. But pretending what isn't so is crazy making. Maybe if she understood, it could help her reconcile the dichotomy, and the personality shift wouldn't be so disturbing.
She asked herself if it was she that brought about his darker side when they were alone. Could her manner bring about such a change. Or was the act truly an act? And would he ever admit that his behavior was confusing.
She like to see that side of him move. She would she would like to see the happy joyful side when they were by themselves. She wouldn't feel so blindsided if he spoke in a humbly spiritual manner when they were together. It would help her no end.
Nevertheless, happiness must be self generated. Her job is not to rely on his behavior to affect her mood for the better, nor should she allow his bad moons to affect her conception of herself. If he doesn't do spiritual things with her, she must do them by herself . Her job is to love him and be kind to him, and take as good of care of him and support him as best as she can, with no expectation of reward. Because love and kindness and giving are ends in themselves. If she could be selfless, acknowledgement, though nice, would be unnecessary.
Returning to the old thought: Please give me a humble heart, a grateful heart, a giving, loving and selfless heart - Help me be my best self who shines the light of God on everyone i touch. Please God, give me a grateful heart. And please help me in my daily practice.
Posted by Judi at May 4, 2013 12:15 AM | TrackBack