September 9, 2012

I want you to feel my love.

How can I make you feel my love?
How can I show you that I'm doing this for us?
We should be each other's soft place to fall
when the world pushes us down,
but instead we are piling it on.

Do I have to deny myself to make you feel loved?
I don't want to hurt you anymore.
But I can't let all this go on as it has been.
It breaks my heart to let it all go,
but I don't know what else to do.

It's your turn to look at yourself now.
And see how you must change.
I can no longer turn myself inside out
to get along with you.

I hope we haven't reached an impasse,
where neither of us will give.
Standing in our righteousness.
Neither bending nor bowing to the other.

My love, I want to make it work.
But we need to take a new path.
This one has reached a dead end.

My feeling is that you are glad
that my stay will no longer be covered
and I'll be forced to come back to you
because there will be no other place for me to go,
but do you really want me like that?

Do you want me cowed and broken?
I don't want that for you.

I want to see you joyous and grateful.
I want to see you really happy.
Finding joy in every moment,
with every sight and sound.

I want to see you dancing in the light,
finding love around every corner.
I want to meet you heart to heart,
not struggling with who has the most power.

I'm afraid you'll find offense in these words,
but my wish is that you could, instead,
see my love.

I want more for us than what is and has been.
I want us to meet every day in love and understanding,
to be each other's refuge.

My love, I want you to be able to feel my love,
I want to get past my anger.
But I need more from you
than you've been willing to give.

I need a 'yes, thank you' now and then,
and a sincere apology once in a while,
but if you never think you are wrong
or even need to consider what I've said,
it may never happen.
And I don't know if I can tolerate that.

And, yet, I know we both
want to be acknowledged,
and want to feel loved by one another.
How do we get there from here?

I think we could start by sharing our gratitude every night.
I think we could get there by discussing how
we would like to live our values.

I think that this
will take work and effort
and a unity of spirit.

But if you don't really get it
and are unwilling to go any further,
I'm not sure I can do it alone.

You are hurt and I am hurt
and that is no way to live.
I love you, Pete, and this breaks my heart.

Please, darling,
hear what I am trying to say.
Please let us have a new tomorrow.

Note to self. Can be sung to "Adele's song;
"Make you feel my love."

Posted by Judi at September 9, 2012 1:19 AM | TrackBack
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