I hear the names of popular bands and am often distracted by what seems to be odd sounding names. Without listening to the music of these groups, I've wrongly concluded that I might not like their form of music. But, like most things I've judged without taking time to actually learn about, I later found that I was dead wrong. I credit Stephen Colbert for introducing me to Radiohead tonight.
These days, I've been recalling many times I've wrongly judged someone or something without really looking into it. There have been so many times when I didn't even admit to myself that I just didn't know. There have been so many times that I wasn't kind and wasn't my best self.
I have regrets, and have no way to undo what I did. I wish now that I could find a way to apologize to the people I've hurt. But since many of the incidents occurred 30, 40, or 50+ years ago, it would be hard.
I don't know where the people I believe I have hurt actually are these days, of if they are even still alive. I don't know if I even found them, if they would remember the incident, or if by bringing it up, whether it might cause further pain. I don't even know if the other people were actually hurt by what I did, or my own inner judge is just acting up.
No, I don't know if there is any way to rectify my unkind actions. All I know is that I wish I had always chosen love over fear, kindness over any sort of perceived need for self protection. All I know is that I wish I could say I had always chosen love and kindness over fear, humility over ego, but of course I cannot.
I guess all I can do now is to put these people in my heart, and wish them peace and love and happiness. I can resolve in the future to chose love and kindness and forgiveness. And, I can choose not to judge. Learning not to judge and how best to be kind is a lifelong quest. Doing our best to consistently work to become our highest vision of ourselves is a fine ideal, and one in which most of us, especially as we age, long to do.
Isn't it interesting how our human mind works?
One moment we might be thinking of a musical group
like Radiohead
and in the next we find ourselves reflecting
on our past actions and desires for the future.
Nothing in thus Universe is ever wasted!
See for yourself!