May 29, 2003

Alternative Plans

I was suppose to go to Ghana this June. This trip was scheduled after plans for my 45th High School's Reunion plans were set in stone. I want to do both. The Ghana trip was a "once in a lifetime" opportunity and I had to choose. Actually, there was no choice. My desire to go to Ghana reigned supreme.

When I learned than I would be unable to join the group on this adventure, I was very disappointed. I am still dealing with this disappointment, but acceptance has started to take root. I am now starting to look forward to the time spent alone, to just spend time with 'myself'. And now, I am fully committed to attending the reunion, sans husband.

The last few days I have been putting out feelers to secure a ride. ...Trying to find classmates, who now live in our section of town, willing to let me ride along.
One kind soul has offered to come south from the West Side, pick me up, then drive out to the San Fernando Valley for the event. It will be a long drive for her.
Last night, I spoke on the phone with this classmate. We didn't know each other in high school. In the nearly one hour conversation, she filled me in on some of her life experiences during the last 45 years. Some pretty big accomplishments and some difficult times. We learned a little about each other.

This morning, while thinking about this conversation, I started wondering whether I painted a false picture of who I am in my post "Mom Who". Not false exactly, but incomplete. I haven't mentioned much about difficult experiences and life challenge in this space. Like everyone else, I have had my share. And I know I will have to face more. That is life!

But these days, I am trying to change how I view each experience. I now realize that we can all make our own 'heaven' or 'hell'. It is all about how we look at things. How we perceive what is. It's all in the way we judge our circumstances.... We can cling to expectations that may never be met, or let them die away. And enjoy what things are.

I have decided that I will do my best to do the later. In making small changes in this direction, I have found that I am happier and more at peace. When I hear people say "I am too old to change". I think "PSHAW"! It's never too late. Some years ago, I heard a radio psychologist who had a pretty tough manner talk about happiness. She made reference to this quote:

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
-Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Abraham Lincoln was right!

Posted by Judi at May 29, 2003 12:02 PM | TrackBack
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